Worth The Drive

We hit the road again to St. Louis for the first time in nearly a year.  Thing 1's eleventh birthday was Friday and we celebrated with a St. Louis Blues game with big sister.  He absolutely LOVES hockey right now and a very first NHL game was exciting stuff.  We both looked forward to the game and seeing the grown kid, the drive not so much.  Gabe really looked forward to staying at the same hotel we always had on previous trips, I did not but it was his birthday so I booked his choice. 

 All three of us had a lot of fun at the game.  We enjoyed our stay, saw some familiar faces and were both comfortable at the usual home away from home.  I am sure Thing 1 will talk about this special birthday to anyone who will listen for a long time to come.  I was nervous about repeating the familiar drive and venturing through familiar territory, but it was a completely wonderful trip.

I white-knuckled the wheel as we first passed the hospital on the highway towards downtown.  I was bracing myself for a reaction of some sort but there was nothing.  I feared my knees might buckle walking into the hotel lobby alone, but they did not.  I thought there might be tears when I shut the door behind me once we made it to the room, but nope.  We were forced to detour leaving Saturday morning, and that took us right through the hospital campus.  Stated as matter-of-fact from the back seat as we passed the Siteman Cancer Center sign, "There's Daddy's hospital."  Deep breath and "Yup, there it is."  Tears?  Nope. 

It really was an adventure of pure fun and that was perfectly okay.

I had the best hot dog and beer at the game without scrutiny and we enjoyed the game to it's finish with a lot of cheering.  I had complete control of the stereo for the entire drive.  I only turned on the radio for traffic reports when we hit the city at Friday rush hour.  My music, my volume all the way there and back.  The whole way home I subjected my poor son to nothing but loud girl rock & country and my very bad singing.  God bless headphones and video games, he did not complain about it once. 

Days before, someone had mentioned the Dixie Chicks, which had me missing them and wanting to listen.  We stopped at our favorite used game & music store just outside of KC and I picked up their live CD set.  Then of course it got really loud in the van and I'm sure my singing got much worse (if at all possible).  Once we hit the turnpike, that final stretch home, I finally had a moment when the disc came to "Top of the World."  Always loved the song, but I guess never really captured it. 

It's introduced with Natalie Maines stating, "it's written from the perspective of a man who has passed on and is looking back on his life, wishing he'd done some things differently and treated the people in it a little better." 

The first chorus came, and took my breath away.. 

There's a whole lot of singing it's never gonna be heard
Disappearing everyday without so much of a word somehow
I think I broke the wings off that little song bird
She's never gonna fly to the top of the world
Right now, top of the world

And that's the moment the tears came.  Had I been that clipped?  I knew I'd broken some beneath the weight of his anger and bitterness on my shoulders, but I guess I hadn't realized just how clipped I'd become.  Did he ever realize it?  Regret it?

And then the final chorus..

'Cause everyone is singing we just wanna be heard
Disappearing everyday without so much of a word somehow
I wanna grab a hold of that little song bird
Take her for a ride to the top of the world
Right now

That song was followed by Sin Wagon and the tears followed with a great big laugh. 

Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!