Friday

No blog yesterday, as Wednesday sucked me dry. Mr. 1inamillion was moved to in-patient hospice and Thing 1 came home early from camp to visit. Up until Wednesday, the hardest things I'd ever done were give birth and quit smoking. Telling Dane that the fight was over, then telling Gabe there were no more treatments to help his Daddy and what lied ahead of us completely depleted me.

Yesterday they changed up pain meds so Mr. 1inamillion had a much better day. He rested well, visited with family, friends and slept through the night. He ate a bit at lunch, the first in days. This morning he had some breakfast and was up visiting with a dear friend when I arrived.

Today I had a slow start. I sat and enjoyed my first cup of coffee with my mother-in-law then got in a workout. Before I walked and ran the dogs, I got in a quick yoga practice. The day is always better when I start my day at the top of the mat and the foot of the Savior. It's impossible for me to be single focused, so my best prayer time is when my body is in motion. They say that when the body is moving the mind is still and open. Prayer is a two way conversation, we've got to remember to stop pleading and talking over God all the time. This morning after my mind was still and open, my prayer on the mat is that we'd be surrounded with the right words and in the absence of the right words there would be just quiet. May we speak and hear only the right words today and otherwise simply be quiet.

Since I've arrived in Mr. 1imamillion's room, he's been awake and in conversation. He asked me when he'd get to go home and again I said he would not be going home. Again I took the deep breath and explained the cancer matastisized to his brain and the Professor said for them to keep him here to care for him and manage his pain. Thing 2 is on her way home from camp with Aunt Shel so soon I will be delivering the same message for the first time to her eight year old ears.

I am so thankful I started my day at the top of the mat and the foot of the Savior. I know I would have no right words without it.