We spoke about the cross in our class last Wednesday.  We talked about the crucifixion and how Jesus even questioned the plan, asking to skip it.  That took me back to my many prayers for heart attacks.  I was terrified of hospice.  Didn't think I could do it.  Couldn't watch Mr. 1inamillion suffer and die. 

I left Wednesday's class thinking about how grateful I am for hospice.  I am grateful for the final days, seeing him linger between here and heaven.  I have never doubted, but am so very glad to have seen him see it.  The cancer in his brain left him not fully aware of what was happening here, so we didn't really get a goodbye from him but he did say he was going to heaven.  We knew he was seeing people that we weren't.  There was a huge smile on his face when asked if he sees Jesus.  And of course there was the dog.  It was the saddest and most beautiful time.

Not long after arriving home from Wednesday's class I read that Dane's young cancer buddy was now in her final days.  She has been in the children's hospital in KC for many months, in ICU for far too long.  Taylor's body would not recover and she was done fighting.  She is in respiratory failure and saying her goodbyes to family and dear friends.  It is devastating for all of us here, but she is ready for her final reward and knows her grandparents are waiting for her.

I have cried many tears in the last few days for her family.  I have cried for my own loss as well.  My chest physically aches for them.  I have wanted so desperately for them not to have our hurts too.  I am also grateful that she is so wise beyond her years and is confident in what awaits her.  She has set such an example for our community with her faith and fearless nature.  The rally of her classmates and our town is incredibly touching.  I am praying for her parents and her sister, as well as the many friends that will be left behind and thanking God that they have these final moments with her.