It's a boy and other little updates

There have been a lot of changes happening around the 1inamillion household over the last several weeks.

I've said goodbye to some very special friends as they moved away.  On the same weekend, even.  Leaving me pretty emotional.  One, thankfully, only moved a few hours away.  She is someone who lost her husband when they were young, with five year old twins and pregnant.  She is the one friend with whom I can most identify and has helped me face my fears, and then my reality.  She's a massage therapist who was a critical part of Mr. 1inamillion's care team, helping him manage his pain.  The other was also instrumental in caring for Dane.  He is war vet who has survived a somewhat insane list of injuries, has MS, heart disease and lets all of it slow him down just a teeny tiny bit.  He chauffeured Mr. 1inamillion to and from appointments in St. Louis and helped encourage and counsel each of us as no one else could. 

Their moves have hit me in a weird way.  The changes are great for each of them and that makes me happy.  I know that months ago losing them would have been devastating to my sanity and our ability to continue on as we did.  I am so amazed and grateful at how God gives us exactly the right people at exactly the right time, as well as give us exactly the right opportunities at exactly the right time.  I will miss them both tons, but am okay with saying goodbye.  That in itself brings a weird kind of sadness.

Other changes have sort of been my own doing.  Apparently you're not supposed to make any big decisions, big purchases or big changes during the first year of grieving.  It's what I read in one of those 'how to be a widow' books and I think my therapist had even mentioned it.

Oops. 

I bought a minivan.  I know, I was soooo excited to get rid of the minivan in 2009.  No one wants to drive a minivan.  I remember being asked to choose service options at the trusted repair shop in Mayberry one time and responding with, "Dude.  It's a minivan.  I really don't care, just do as little as you have to."  And after driving it for five years, I still couldn't park it.  Things 1 and 2, however, are growing, getting louder and making every attempt they can to kill each other.  I just needed them further away from my head and each other.  Each salesperson did the 'so what are you looking for?' and I responded with, 'probably a minivan.  I love my Escape, but I need my kids further away from my head and each other'.  So I am back to cruising a minivan and I still suck at parking it.

The minivan really isn't that big of deal.  I just thought I'd lead with a small one for you.

Beyond expanding the vehicle, I have expanded the family.  Not another dog...but that is probably just because we live in town and we're at the limit.  The 1inamillion house is actually now home to a 16 year old boy and I am officially his legal guardian (for real, people think I am that trustworthy).  He is one of my niece's best friends so he's been a part of the extended family we choose and needed some stability (for real, people think I am that stable). 

It's a big change that you might think I'd seek a lot of counsel on, but I intentionally did not.  Sometimes the opinions and advice of others are noisy and make it difficult to hear the whispering voice of God.  I wanted to clearly hear the whisper of God on this one.  I did ask Things 1 and 2 on multiple occasions and each time they were all for it.  The last time I asked Lucy she said, "why do you keep asking us that?  Braden moving in with us is not that big of a deal.  It's just Braden."  Well, it kind of is a big deal, but okay.  It just makes perfect sense to me, too.  I also asked my 25 year old bonus daughter (Dane's oldest), because who could be a better judge of my taking in a bonus kid?  If I remember correctly, she said it was crazy and awesome and of course I would be awesome at taking care of a teenager.  (Made this wicked stepmother's heart swell and an eye tear.)  She also laughed and asked what Grandpa thought.  I told her I think he thinks I'm crazy, but he raised us to be this kind of crazy so it's totally his own fault.

Honestly, I KNOW it takes a village to successfully raise kids.  I've been so dependent on Gabe and Lucy's over the challenging years we've had.  I am blessed and grateful to be able to play a key role in another village.  We love him, we want him and we have chosen him to be included in our family.  Again I am grateful for the way God gives us exactly the right people at exactly the right time and gives us exactly the right opportunities at exactly the right time. 

Part of the delay in this blog post was that I did feel there were some other people who should not learn I have a new bonus son and things 1 & 2 happily have a new big brother via the internet.  So yesterday I called my mother-in-law and then my brother to say 'hey, I have a teenager.  It's a boy!'.  I am sure there will be other friends and family who think they should have gotten a phone call, too, but I've had thing 3 for about a month and my big brother didn't even know yet.  I'm sorry, but I'm horrible about calling so seriously, It's either the blog or a very curious Christmas photo.  So....

It's a boy! 

5 feet, 9 inches and 160 lbs 

We are excited & blessed to announce the arrival of Thing 3 

Please join us in welcoming him to the 1inamillion family