June

June's a big month in the 1inamillion house.  The big kid turned 25 on Friday.  Mr. 1inamillion and I would be married 15 years on the 21st.  He would turn 49 on the 27th.  And of course there is today.

The calendar had been taunting me.  All that this month holds began rolling through my mind as soon as we were told at the hospital that there were brain mets and how fast things might progress.  I wondered how quickly Dane would pass, and how it might land on the calendar amongst the special days.  Would we make it 15 years?  Would he make it to 49?  Turns out he actually knew. 

Early last week while in the hospital, he insisted to me that he was going.  When I said"'really? when are you going?", he answered "fourteenth."  I asked where he was going and he again said "fourteenth."  He told our sister-in-law he was going tomorrow, and after she asked him several times where, he whispered, "Heaven."  That conversation took place on the thirteenth. 

Today was our first 'public' outing since his passing.  I thought it might be tough facing all of the concerned friends at church on any ol' Sunday, but today is Father's Day.  I had no idea how hard it might be for Things 1 and 2.  I asked Gpa and the uncles to join us today, all but one of which don't make church a habit.  As Gabe and Lucy were being reminded it's Father's Day and their father was gone, I wanted them to also be reminded that there are men who love them bunches and are ready to stand in the gap.  I told Thing 1 this morning that they would be joining us and while no one can ever take Daddy's place, there are a lot of people who love us and will be there whenever we need them and I wanted him to know that. 

We talked this afternoon about the fact that it's kind of cool that Daddy got to spend Father's Day with his daddy for the first time in years.  Thing 1 said, "And it's ok, we got to spend Father's Day with our Father God and Grandpa."