What We Need

Is there anything you guys need? What can I do to help? These are questions that we hear often and always struggle to answer. It's hard to know what we need, and harder still to ask for it. We don't like to impose, let alone admit our weakness.

Mr. 1inamillion asked me months ago what we needed to get through this. "What do I tell people when they ask?" My reply was I have no idea. I have no idea what help we need to get through this again. My response was construed as not caring, but honestly I didn't know. God hadn't told me yet, perhaps he had told someone else. Our situation can be so very overwhelming, so I really liked the thought that He had told someone else. That became my prayer. "Lord, help. Please just tell someone else what we need. I can't manage it anymore so please tell somebody else." Soon after that, our basement flooded. Again.


Years ago we had water in our basement with every rain. I spent lots of time cleaning it up, then we finally spent lots of money fixing it. Still I have yet to see a rainbow down there and though I've considered painting one, I decided that would be cheating and wouldn't offer the assurance I desired. This time the water wasn't coming from the ground, it was dripping from the air shaft. Handy as I am, I bought a couple of buckets at the Family Dollar, identified the perfect arrangement to catch the drips and called it good. After a few trips down to empty and reposition my solution, I decided it might be pipes above the air shaft and called my sister and her plumber husband.

Shelly and her knight in shining armor rode out and saved the day. It wasn't leaking pipes, it was condensation from the air conditioner and he fixed it with his pocket knife. He scraped enough lint from the coils for a scarf, two sweaters and a stocking cap then opened the shaft enough to let the remaining water drain out. So far, so good. The basement has remained dry and the air conditioner is much improved.

Shortly after their departure from our humble abode, my big sister called with apologies. After spending a bit of time observing my chaotic mess, she hoped I didn't mind but she called our brother and scheduled a work day. We had talked before about her girls coming out later in the summer to watch kids and help a bit with housework, and though she had been listening, she hadn't really realized my need for immediate, bigger help. And she was sorry for that.


Let's just say that a lot has remained undone in the 1inamillion household after three years of surgeries, chemo, radiation, traveling to find the right doctors, traveling for the clinic trial, traveling for work, and fibromyalgia. We commit to being fed, bathed and dressed in mostly clean clothes upon leaving the house. Anything beyond that is a rare bonus. I managed to say nothing more than thank you and shed quiet tears during that call. There was no brave face, no down playing our weakness and need for helping hands. I thanked God for flooding the basement and sending in the troops. Then I thought "of course You'd tell her what I need!" I should have known. She spent years practicing as the boss of me.

Almost immediately a posse of nieces arrived. I was tucked away in the office on a conference call while two teenage girls took charge of Things 1 and 2 and began tackling the downstairs playroom with great speed. Two more were upstairs cleaning the kitchen and then they straightened up the living room and began to make a dent in the kids' bedroom. In the following weeks, my sister, one of her girls, my brother and his wife arrived with trailers. The storage room and shed that have easily accumulated much too much were cleaned out and the kids' room received an extreme makeover. Really, they were days meant for reality television.


We have since decided to proceed with our desire to move to my hometown. Close to Dad, my sister's family and our church, and closer to the treatment center and pharmacy that is so often our destination. We (Dane, myself and the boss of me) have decided our family needs to be closer to our resources and we need a landlord. The goal is no longer to wait, sell then buy another house. Accepting our limitations, the goal is to soon rent, then sell this home. Give up the dreams and burdens of home ownership in our sweet little town for the freedoms proximity and a tad fewer responsibilities have to offer.


I am praying for the Lord to bless this move. To make this particular path clear and easy. There is still much ahead of us and much that needs to be done. But I know that He is listening. I can't tell you what exactly we may need, but I'm not so overwhelmed by the question. I will just suggest you talk to my big sister.