Hope, Joy & Mickey Mouse!

“PLEASE, just let Mommy finish her homework and she’ll take you to Disney World when she graduates,” I pleaded with the small humans in our home.
“Did you just tell them you’d take them to Disney World?” Mr. 1inamillion soon questioned.
“Yes! Just let me finish my homework and we all will go to Disney World when I graduate.” I then promised him too.

This is how our vacation planning began years ago. I was doing online classes at that time, and my pleading promises continued on through the degree completion program that began in March 2006 and ended in October 2007. During that time, both my father in law and my mother passed away. Dane had four surgeries and four months of chemotherapy. Graduation was scheduled for May 10, 2008, my 32nd birthday. I was blessed with the help of really good friends in the program, understanding professors and a fierce determination to graduate on my birthday, so I actually made it despite the odds. Our money, however, did not so the promise of Disney World was delayed.

On Memorial day 2009, we traded in our mini-van for a couple of reasons. The first being who really wants to drive a mini-van? We had traded in our Tracker for that van the weekend following the birth of Thing 2 as quickly as possible. We discovered on the way home from the hospital that we did not have room for two car seats. It was a painful drive home for me with my knees at the dashboard and bent slightly forward over a line of staples that followed the C-section because the passenger seat was pushed forward to accommodate the added car seat. I hated that van and after five years, I still was horrible at parking the thing. The second reason we traded the van for a new Escape was it came with a trip for four to Disney World. A year late, but we could keep our promise to the kids!

I was so hesitant to commit to scheduling the trip. Mr. 1inamillion had just been through another surgery and radiation following tumor number four. We booked it for the following Thanksgiving. It was several months away, leaving a lot of time for things to go wrong but the kids wouldn’t miss school and it timed with an expected bonus. Not long after making the reservations, tumors five, six and seven appeared. Dane began chemo, and we cancelled our trip. Thanksgiving was spent with him suffering through shingles and me painting the kitchen, determined to overcome something. The kids were of course disappointed but bought into the promise that we would go next year.

After four rounds of chemo, Dane began a clinical trial based out of St. Louis. Several road trips back and forth followed, along with a CT scan showing diminishing tumors. Secretly, we rebooked the trip, despite my concern that maybe God didn’t want us going to Disney World and we could just be asking for more trouble. Just in case, we scheduled it quickly, for the week before his next CT scan.

In an effort to prevent further disappointments and unkept promises, we managed to keep it completely from Things 1 and 2. We were leaving early on a Sunday and the plan was to send them to a Mother’s Day Out event at the church on Saturday so we could pack in secrecy. Gabe threw up that morning. I thought for sure that might be the beginning of the end, but it happened just once and he was fine. They remained home and I managed to pack suitcases because…umm….we needed more room in our drawers and closets so I was packing away summer clothes.

Early Sunday, we loaded the car then woke the kids and quickly got them ready, bundled and out the door. We hit the road on our way to…umm….church, the long way around because of construction. We parked in a satellite lot, yanked suit cases out of the back, told them to grab their car seats and we hurried through the snow onto a shuttle bus. Gabe began to grin, wide-eyed, but said nothing. I was drilling Lucy on Mommy’s cell number, terrified of a Home Alone 2 moment and giving her no time to question. We entered the airport, checked in, made it through security and to our gate.

“So where do you think we’re really going?” we finally ask.
“I don’t know. A different church?“ suggested Gabe hesitantly.
Lucy exclaimed, “Rachel’s church!” and I suddenly understood just how very easily children are kidnapped. They were still utterly clueless, but were so very excited once we told them. It really was a great moment. Too early in the morning for me to have been fast enough with a camera to capture, but Mr. 1inamillion and I soaked it in completely.

I was still expecting for everything to go wrong; plane delays, to be completely stuck in Houston, to lose luggage, horrible weather, anything. It was in fact pouring rain when we arrived in Orlando but as we pulled into the hotel, the rain stopped and the weather was beautiful the remainder of the week. I am sure that God found entertainment in baffling me with the perfection of it all.

I had emailed teachers previously, but Monday morning as we walked into the Magic Kingdom I called the school office to excuse Things 1 and 2 from school for the week and giggled a bit. Our first ride was the Tea Cups and it was there that I saw it. Joy! All three of my most-loved ones were smiling and giggling at once.

Aside from Gabe asking for the barf bag as we spun on that ride, there were no complaints of nausea. There were no mentions of doctors, appointments, scans, or cancer. There was no mention of how long there may be before the next surgery and no mentions of chemotherapy. There was excited talk of what tomorrow would bring and even talk of a next vacation. A couple of days into the week, I recognized it. Hope!

I had never thought that the 1inamillion family was without hope. But our hope for so long had just been for less bad stuff. I hoped for the basement to remain dry, not that it would ever become a finished and enjoyable space. We hoped for more time before another treatment, instead of no more cancer at all.

We had stopped hoping for the great stuff God has in store for us. We stopped believing his promise to prosper and not harm us, his plan for our hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) By enabling us to fulfill the promise we made to our children, our faith in the greatness of His promise was restored. I still fear planning and long term commitments, but a bit less. That long awaited visit with Mickey Mouse made us again joyful in hope.