Yesterday was our thirteenth wedding anniversary. We spent the day on the road to St. Louis for a CT scan today and an appointment to follow up with Dane’s oncologist for results tomorrow. We are staying with my great aunt Jean this trip. You may think we should have opted for a hotel on our anniversary, but chemotherapy zaps the resources as well as the need for that luxurious privacy. Besides, we received the greatest anniversary gifts that I must share.

When my mother passed, our cousin Reverend Kurt Stone assisted with her funeral. It was beautiful and the following day I remember being told that every family should have a cousin Kurt. I completely agree. Every family should be blessed with a cousin Kurt, particularly because he came with our amazing Aunt Jean and Uncle Tom, the first Rev. Stone. While Kurt so eloquently helped us say goodbye to Mom, Uncle Tom was there to eloquently set us sail in marriage.

We were treated to a delicious dinner last night by Aunt Jean, Kurt and his wife Linda, complete with a celebratory cake. My aunt has an unrivaled gift of supreme organization and gave us a candleholder that they had received as an anniversary gift from my grandma and a copy of our wedding ceremony.

My Uncle Tom’s words (that were a complete blur to me on that day) are what I want to share with you. In particular, I want to share the words that my Aunt Jean so neatly typed thirteen years ago that are yelling at me from the page today. First, one of his prayers;

"God who gives life to all people and meaning to every moment, we pray that Angela and Dane may ever be faithful to the covenant they have just made. May the home they establish be a haven of peace and love in which all may share. May your grace and love be their constant companion as they fulfill their life together. Amen.”

A haven of peace and love. ...Oops.

Stress and illness weakens us to bark and bicker. My eyes stuck to those words on the page. I could dwell and elaborate on how far from peace we stray, but his wedding homily leads me otherwise.
A. Birds in Bella Vista
a. Largest – turkey vulture
b. Smallest—hummingbird
B. Diets differ greatly
a. Vulture—road kill
b. Hummingbird—colorful blossoms of beautiful flowers (and sugar water)
C. Vulture lives on what was…
a. Lives in the past.
D. Hummingbird
a. Lives on what is
b. Seek new life
c. Fill themselves with freshness & life
E. Each bird finds what it is looking for; we all do exactly that
F. Those of us who know you, love you, and want the best for you prefer you will always seek new life, and fill yourselves with freshness and life.

He continued with quotes from Eda LeShan’s “Going for the Gold” and Garrison Keillor’s book “We are Still Married”. His illustration of the birds of his Bella Vista, Arkansas home, however, is so very clear. We find exactly that which we are searching. We can fill ourselves with freshness and life like the peaceful hummingbird, or pick at the road kill.

Uncle Tom’s conclusion:
A. From Life’s Little Instruction Calendar…
Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things:
a. Finding the right person and
b. Being the right person.
B. God bless you both as you seek new life together, and do remember, “Happiness is never just around the corner—it is always right there in front of you.”
C. Seek new life and fill yourselves with freshness and life.

Dear God, who gives life to all people and meaning to every moment, I thank you that we have been ever faithful to the covenant we made thirteen years ago. May the home we have established be a haven of peace and love in which all may share. May your grace and love continue to be our constant companion as we continue to fulfill this life together, seeking to do so with freshness and life. Amen.